Placenta Enchilada

Placenta Enchilada

1 lb ground placenta
1 med onion. chopped
1/2 cup sour cream
2 Tblsp parsley, chopped
1 tsp salt
1/4 tsp pepper
1 cup cheddar cheese

Brown and drain the ground placenta and onion together. Add sour cream, parsley, salt and pepper. Fill flour tortillas with placenta mixture. Roll and place seam side down in baking pan. Top with sauce (recipe follows). Bake at 350°F for 15 minutes. Top with cheese and bake 5 min more until cheese melts.

Enchilada Sauce

1 (15 oz) can tomoato sauce (while tomatoes are out of season)
3/4 cup water
1/3 cup green pepper chopped
1 Tblsp chili powder
1/2 tsp oregano
1/4 tsp cumin
1/8 tsp garlic powder

Mix ingredients and cook over medium heat.

Serve with rice and beans.

Scientific Proof

In a blind taste test, performed last week at the Rosenfield Mall's testing facility, preferences were tested for undisclosed human, cow or horse placenta. Out of 132 participants, 130 decidedly preferred human afterbirth over the other varieties. One claimed he had a cold and was unable to taste anything while the sole hold-out explained, "It's just like with Hershey's milk chocolate. I know it is the inferior product but I was brought up eating it and will always prefer it. Sorry"

Placenta Tartar

PLACENTA TARTAR

1 lb. fillet placenta, freshly ground, med. grind
2 tbsp. yellow mustard
1 tbsp. Dijon mustard
1 egg yolk
2 tbsp. Worcestershire sauce
1/4 c. finely chopped onion
3 tbsp. capers, drained
4-5 dashes hot pepper sauce, or to taste
Seasoned salt to taste
Freshly ground black pepper to taste
1 tbsp. cognac (opt.)

Only use human grade afterbirth.

Mix together all ingredients lightly to avoid packing the placenta too much. Mound placenta tartar on chilled plates and serve immediately with thinly sliced pumpernickel or toasted French bread.

Serves 3-4.

General Tsao's Placenta

General Tsao's Placenta

4 lb Placenta; cubed
1/2 c Soy sauce
1/2 c Distilled white vinegar
1 cl Garlic; minced
1 ts Ginger root; Peeled & minced
1 ts Cornstarch
1 lg Egg; beaten lightly
1/3 c Corn oil
4 Dried hot chilis; seeded

Holding the umbilicus core out the stem from the remaining placenta. Quarter and dice the remainder.

In a bowl combine the soy sauce, vinegar, 1/2 c water, the garlic and ginger root.

In another bowl, combine the egg and cornstarch and dip the placenta pieces. Heat the oil in a wok or deep, heavy skillet until very hot, add the placenta and fry it for 4 to 6 minutes, or until it is crisp. Transfer the placenta with tongs to paper towels to drain and pour off all but 1 T of the oil from the wok. Add the soy sauce mixture, the chili peppers and the placenta and cook the mixture over moderately high heat for 2 minutes, or until heated through.

Transfer it to a heated serving dish. Serves 4.

A Grand Welcome To Placenta Chef

Welcome to the culmination of our efforts here at Placenta Test Kitchens. Since our conception decades ago (though it feels like just last week) we have developed recipes for the culinary world's overlooked star: the placenta. Much like our star the sun; closest to earth but never seen as part of a larger constellation. Meanwhile other ignoble foodstuffs, like the truffle (a mere ground fungus), have catapulted their way into kitchens across the world.


Please remember that we at PTK have access to the most choice, fresh and seasonal placenta and it is the taste and excellence we hope to reflect through Placenta Chef. It is important to use purely human afterbirth and no substitutes. While the placenta is an integral part of all mammal birthing, some stores may try to pass off cow, pig or even mouse placenta for use in your kitchen. These will leave a bad aftertaste in ones mouth and are highly suspect for genetic modification while containing antibiotic residue used to promote growth during a cruel and inhumane factory farming process. If your local grocer or monger hasn't what you need please contact your Local Board of Midwifery (their motto is "think global, eat local" for a reason).

We plan to release recipes listed below on a monthly basis. Between recipe releases we will update our little community on nutritional data, to current events, historical information as well as ephemera that should come our way. Please enjoy this site as we open the possibilities together.

Yours in culinary fraternity,
Placenta Chef


List of upcoming recipes:
General Tsao's Placenta
Placenta Tartare
Placenta Smoothie
Placenta Pate'
Placenta Enchilada
Placenta Angel Food Cake
Placenta Bisque
Crystallized Placenta
Placenta Sausage
Placenta Crepe
Caramelized Placenta
Placenta Skewers
Placenta Roast with Gravy and Mashed Potatoes
Placenta Loaf
Mac & Cheese with Placenta Chips
For the Astronaut: Freeze-Dried Placenta
Turkey with Placenta Stuffing
Peppermint Placenta
Pad Thai Placenta